Racoon Technologies

Satirical idle clicker · Android

Idle Dictator

Kazaria has 37 citizens, one Marshal and a plan to rule the continent. You are his new Chief of Staff: build absurd institutions, hire ministers who work while you sleep and take the neighbours one at a time. He takes the credit.

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Marshal Vorlan at his ninth stage: a military cap topped with a golden crown and a thin halo, aviator sunglasses, an enormous grey moustache, a red sash with golden goats, golden epaulettes, a cape, a cane with a goat's head and two rows of medals.
Marshal Vorlan, at his most modest.

Official portrait

Meet the Marshal

Marshal Vorlan, Savior of Kazaria, runs a nation the size of a parking lot and is certain it will rule the world.

You are his new Chief of Staff. Your job is to make the numbers go up. His job is to take the credit, in a uniform that gets more ridiculous with every conquest: a medal, then more medals, sunglasses, a sash, epaulettes, a cane, a cape, a crown. Eventually, a halo. Everything else resets. The ego never does.

“Kazaria will rule the continent. It is destiny, and I have checked twice.”

Marshal Vorlan, day one

Nine stages of greatness

  1. Stage 1: Savior of Kazaria1
  2. Stage 2: Twice-Beloved Marshal of Kazaria and Environs2
  3. Stage 3: Supreme Marshal of Three Deeply Grateful Nations3
  4. Stage 4: Grand Marshal, Father of Four Peoples, Friend of Goats4
  5. Stage 5: Most Serene Grand Marshal of Five Nations and the Local Weather5
  6. Stage 6: Eternal Grand Marshal of Six Nations, Keeper of the Only Correct Opinion6
  7. Stage 7: Undisputed Marshal of the Entire Continent, Pending Some Paperwork7
  8. Stage 8: Supreme Savior of the First Continent, Immortal in Advance8
  9. Stage 9: Twice-Continental Emperor Vorlan, Sun of All Known Maps and Most Unknown Ones9

From Savior of Kazaria to Twice-Continental Emperor Vorlan, Sun of All Known Maps and Most Unknown Ones, in nine easy conquests.

The State

Ten institutions

Every institution earns Vorlars. Hire its minister and it runs itself, even while the app is closed. Especially while the app is closed.

  1. Diorama of Tax Collection: a small grey office with a counter, a cashier's window and a framed portrait of Marshal Vorlan on the wall.

    Tax Collection

    Supreme Director of Revenue

    “Every citizen contributes their fair share. And then some.”

  2. Diorama of the Official Patriotic Souvenir Shop: a tiny stall with a striped awning, a mug with the Marshal's face, medals, postcards and a small Kazarian flag.

    Official Patriotic Souvenir Shop

    Minister of Patriotic Merchandising

    “No home is complete without a plush Marshal Vorlan.”

  3. Diorama of the National Goat Farm: one grey goat in a fenced pen in front of a red barn, with a feeding trough and a small water tower.

    National Goat Farm

    Minister of Agriculture and Caprine Affairs

    “The goats love the Marshal almost as much as he loves himself.”

  4. Diorama of the National Victory Lottery: a big glass drum full of balls with the Marshal's face, on a red-draped stand with a crank, a lever and a few losing tickets on the floor.

    National Victory Lottery

    National Commissioner of Luck

    “Everyone wins! Results may vary. Results are final.”

  5. Diorama of State Television No. 1: an old wooden television showing Marshal Vorlan, filmed by a camera on a tripod with a red on-air light.

    State Television No. 1

    Director General of Televised Truth

    “All channels agree: the Marshal is doing an excellent job.”

  6. Diorama of the Premium Citizenship Program: a wooden desk behind a velvet rope, with a stack of red passports, a certificate and a giant rubber stamp.

    Premium Citizenship Program

    Secretary of Strategic Passports

    “Become Kazarian today. Passport ink still drying.”

  7. Diorama of the Central Bank & National Money Factory: a domed bank with columns and a flag on top, with a printing press spitting out banknotes beside it.

    Central Bank & National Money Factory

    Governor of the National Printing Press

    “We print Vorlares faster than we can spell them.”

  8. Diorama of the National Oil Company Without Oil: a derrick and a pumpjack on dry, cracked earth, an empty barrel on its side and the goat flag of Kazaria.

    National Oil Company Without Oil

    Minister of Probably Existing Resources

    “There may be oil. There is definitely a company.”

  9. Diorama of the Patriotic Military Industrial Complex: a small green tank parked by a brick factory with a smoking chimney, next to a crate of giant shells and a little Kazarian flag.

    Patriotic Military Industrial Complex

    Marshal of Explosive Procurement

    “Our tanks run on pure patriotism and diesel.”

  10. Diorama of the Supreme Space Program: a green rocket with a golden goat on its side, on a cracked launch pad with a gantry, a control console and a Kazarian flag.

    Supreme Space Program

    Supreme Director of Things That Fly

    “To the stars. Or at least the upper atmosphere.”

“Delegation! He collects while I sleep. Especially while I sleep.”

Marshal Vorlan, on hiring his first minister

Standard procedure

A day in Kazaria

  1. Tap.

    Collect taxes by hand until you can afford someone else to do it.

  2. Invest.

    Every level makes an institution pay more. Milestones make it faster.

  3. Delegate.

    Hire the minister and the institution runs on its own, even while you are away.

  4. Decree.

    Spend Vorlars on decrees, from the Print Faster Decree to the Decree of Total Glory. Everyone loves them. Officially.

  5. Conquer.

    Turn Vorlars into National Power, take a neighbour and start again, stronger and with a longer title.

Foreign policy

Six neighbours, four methods

Kazaria shares the continent with six countries that have not yet thanked the Marshal. Build enough National Power, pick a method, and one of them becomes Kazaria. Seven countries make a continent. Then you proclaim the Continental Empire and there is, regrettably, another continent.

  1. Flag of Kazaria: red and cream horizontal stripes with a golden goat in the middle. Kazaria 37 citizens
  2. Flag of Ulvak: cream and green vertical bands with a golden ram's head. Ulvak 4,000
  3. Flag of Tormenia: red with a cream stripe and a golden broadcasting tower. Tormenia 25,000
  4. Flag of Velkor: blue with two crossed golden keys. Velkor 120,000
  5. Flag of Brankovia: cream with a golden shell between laurel leaves. Brankovia 650,000
  6. Flag of Solvania: green, cream and gold vertical bands with a pumpjack. Solvania 2,500,000
  7. Flag of Orvak: blue with a cream band and a golden rocket. Orvak 8,000,000
Glorious Invasion
Purely defensive tanks. Oil and military production surge in the new territory.
State Marriage
A wedding, a treaty and a television special. Citizenship and television boom.
Completely Legitimate Referendum
An overwhelming yes. Taxes, souvenirs and goats flourish.
Hostile Takeover
Simply buy the country. Everything costs 15% less in the next territory.

“Seven nations and not one neighbour left. Geography has failed me personally.”

Marshal Vorlan, on running out of neighbours

Real estate

From a desk to a palace

Kazaria grows. So does the office.

  1. The office of a micronation: cracked plaster walls, a single wooden desk with a red rotary phone, a portrait of Marshal Vorlan and the goat flag of Kazaria.
    01 The office of a micronation
  2. The presidential office: a larger desk with four red phones and an old television, two portraits of Marshal Vorlan, goat flags on both sides and a view of the obelisk through the window.
    02 The presidential office
  3. The Generalissimo's palace: marble walls with gold trim, a crystal chandelier, a red banner with a golden goat and a large globe with Kazaria written across it, in front of tall arched windows lined with flags.
    03 The Generalissimo's palace
  4. The imperial hall: a giant painting of Marshal Vorlan pointing into the distance, a red and gold throne with goat carvings on a red carpet, the flags of conquered nations and a rocket on its launch pad outside the window.
    04 The imperial hall
  5. The Palace of Eternal Excellence: golden columns, red velvet curtains, chandeliers carried by drones, two golden goat statues beside a podium, and a ceiling fresco of Marshal Vorlan floating in the clouds above his admiring citizens.
    05 The Palace of Eternal Excellence

Official facts

Good to know

  • Plays offline. Institutions with a minister keep earning for a few hours while the app is closed.
  • Free, with three optional one-time purchases: x2 Production Forever, Remove Ads Forever and Double Offline Time. No subscriptions, no energy, no premium currency.
  • One optional ad, and only one: watch it to double what you earned while away.
  • A daily tribute from the people, for showing up. The Marshal notices.
  • Nothing leaves your phone without your consent. Privacy policy
  • For Android, in English. Coming soon to Google Play.
  • Entirely fictional. No real country, government or politician was involved. The goats are also fictional.

Correspondence

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Idle Dictator app icon: Marshal Vorlan, with a military cap and an enormous grey moustache, in front of two golden goats on a red background.

Idle Dictator

Coming soon to Google Play

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